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July 6, 2012 12:08

Optimus Prime

Considering Michael Bay’s explosion-riddled, giant alien robot Transformers franchise, a strain named Optimus Prime communicates bigness—ginormous, gargantuan, not small at all. In the case of this sativa-dominant monster, grown in the Bay Area exclusively for Welcome Wellness Center in Riverside, big is exactly what you get. The delicate buds are huge, like the tip of a rather large spear. The hues—purplish and brownish and bluish-green—are in-your-face bold and eccentric. Even the smoke the weed yields is big, or at least will feel that way when your lungs are done expanding. Then there’s the stone, which can perhaps best be described as the psychoactive effects of some very big and very heavy robot in disguise sitting on your head. If you’ve ever had something very big and very heavy sit on your head, then you know it can be an overwhelming experience. It focuses your attention and makes you feel like you’re not entirely in control. That’s what Optimus Prime does to you when ingested—the stone envelopes you until suddenly your bones feel heavier than they really are while the consciousness inflates to make every sensory input that much more profound. Keep this über-medicine on hand when dealing with MS, the nausea associated with chemotherapy, severe back pain, neuralgia and presidential politics.

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